I need some more Sugar

I decided to go back to the Sugar Bar for the open mic. This time alone. I sat at the bar and ordered some tea. The bartender was also an actress, a beautiful latin woman. She said it was a good place for her to make contacts. I drank my tea. The bar was packed. The tables are for dinner guests only. I am no Rockefeller. I try to avoid using my credit card so no table for me and besides they do not accept dinner reservations for just uno. I should have stopped at my tea, but then I saw the dessert menu. It was taking a long time for them to get started so I needed something to pass the time. It was really sweet and I suppose did the trick.

There is pocket of space in front of the bathrooms that you can stand by if you want to get a better view of the stage. That is if you do not mind having to move every time someone has to go in and out of the bathroom. I did not mind though in order to watch everything. There was an older gentleman standing there too and I told him I was not going to the bathroom,just getting my spot and he jokingly told me,"This is my spot" I told him," well I am shorter than you, so you'll be allright" :) He said he used to play jazz piano and was a part of the scene, but felt it was not for him eventually. I told him I understood. You have to have a certain threshold for the life. I was so glad he was there. It helped to calm my nerves, Then I was not alone.

Something told me to ask Valerie Simpson if she knew how to play "I Put a Spell on You". That was my inner voice prodding me along. I did. Nothing to lose. I walked up to her and asked her and she said she did. I asked her if she would be there next week and she said she would not. I asked her if she would be the week after that and she said," yes." I said," then I can sing it then." She said, "why not sing it tonight." I said."ok" I went up to the MC, Andre Smith, and said I did not know if it was too late to sign up or not, but I signed up, just told him my first name and told him that Valerie would be playing keys for me. He did not say anything after he wrote my name down. So, I just asked, " Is that it?" and he just nodded as if to say yes. All of the really strong acts went up. There were just a couple that I felt awkward watching. There is one man that resembles Isaac Hayes physically. He is incredible. There is another man that performs with the same energy and presence as Gerald Levert. They give their all and are a pleasure to watch. They have such class when they perform. I will learn their names eventually. Performer after performer went up, I wondered if I would ever go up and then thought it must be part of paying your dues to go closer to last, but then again, I did sign up really late. The band took a break and Valerie seemed to have gone. I was so afraid she would not come back and that they would call my name I would be like, "uhhh, never mind. I will sing some other time" That would have been so awful. I started to get a really bad headache. Each time a singer finished, I would get more and more tense,because there was no sign of Valerie. Finally, she came back and I was like "Yes"

Andre called my name second to last I believe. I can't believe it. He actually pronounced my name right. This rarely happens unless I am in France. I looked at Valerie as if to say, are you still playing? He looked at me reassuringly. I told Tony, the bass player, Valerie would be on keys. I was so in shock that she was actually going to play keys that I forgot to tell the band what song we were going to do. Ha Ha. They were like,"what are we going to do?" I said, " I Put a Spell on You" in F#m. The guitar player said," You goin' to put a spell on me in F#m, why/can you put a spell on me in E" I said, "Yeah, I will change it every night" Valerie did the sound where she cleared her throat. I felt she was telling them to behave themselves and for us to start. Ha Ha. That was awesome. I remember thinking that I wish there were more people in the audience before I got on the stage, because most people left when the band took their break. There is one woman,Kathy Jordan-Sharpton, I wish had been there especially. She is the ex-wife of the Reverend Al Sharpton. She speaks to all of the performers as they perform. She is one of the strongest heart beats of the audience. She lets you know they are alive and listening. I wish she had of been there. So anyways, I began to sing and you could hear everyone stop talking and listen. I was so full of emotion. My voice just came out like a fighter. I turned around and looked at the band when the guitar player did his solo. That is when you can all feel each other and something magical happens. You are together doing something really powerful. And you pass that threshold where one of the musicians will give a look as if to say, " you are doin' it sista" It is a great feeling. For me, this time, the look came from the drummer. All of the players were very good.The man that reminds me of Isaac Hayes did the cast a spell mannerism with his hands and I did it too back to him. We were in tune. When I finished. I turned around to Valerie and the band and said Thank you. I walked off the stage and felt different. Maybe how a fighter feels when he gets out of the ring and has a rush. Like I was not totally in the same space as everyone. I was somewhere else. I almost forgot my purse on the stage. I went and sat by the older gentleman. There was also another man, an artist who comes in to sell his work, freelance if you will. He held my hand tightly and said " Keep Representin"

The older gentleman asked me, " where does that strong,powerful voice come from out of that meek looking body" I told him "a lot of emotions, a lot of emotions" No one else came up to me. Part of me wondered if I did not do well, but my inner voice just said they were in shock. Hell, I was in shock. I was some place else.