You must fall down before you can walk

For years, my songwriting partner, has urged me to back myself up on guitar. Today, I found the courage to actually do it. I have played guitar for years writing my songs behind closed doors. I have played to explain to the musicians what I hear in my head. Today, I played at a small cafe in Edmonds, WA called Cafe Louvre. It was nerve wrecking. I am used to being surrounded by my musicians backing me up. This was a totally different feeling. It felt awkward. Especially the first 2 songs, but after that, it felt better. I still feel most comfortable just singing, but I respect my songwriting partner and figure there must be something to him so vehemently believing this is something I must do. So, the first time, although rocky is down. I have walked over the coals. Now to go back again. Moving to the great northwest to be closer to my mother feels interesting. There are many times that I miss aspects of New York and tonight I missed having my drummer/ songwriting partner there with me playing alongside me, but on the other hand, I am gaining loyal fans who I really appreciate. My mother and step-father came out to show their support.

New Terrain

I have come home so to speak. Home is wherever my mother is. There was a death in our family and it made it very clear to me that I was way too far away from my mother should we ever need each other. This clarity has brought me across the country again. The first time I went across the country was actually out of the country to Sweden. Now it is from New York City to Washington state. I have met and heard some great musicians in and around Seattle. It is nice to see trees. The pace is an adjustment. I have to assume this is better for my blood pressure. My new CD is just about done. I am more than ready to start performing these new songs.

When it rains it pours and then there is sunshine!

A close relative is terminally ill now with cancer. I went to see her in Alabama. They have brought her home for hospice care. I love her so much. It is so much to bear just seeing her in this situation. This is a very trying time. On my flight back to NYC, I was lucky enough to sit next to an actor whose work I have always admired. Seeing my ill relative and dealing with some drama that ensued with another relative left me crying in the airport bathroom as I waited to board the plane. My face must have been tearworn as opposed to weatherworn. He strolled down the aisle as charismatic as he always is in his movies. What a wonderful surprise. It was a pleasure to speak to him and remember why I sing. It was nice to speak to someone about what we live for, to express ourselves. It was perfect timing to have met him that evening. I am preparing to go back into the studio and record more music. I am moving forward. Life and those you love can be quickly taken away. You better do what you love now.

My singing mentor wasn't feeling well either, so I came to see her when I got back to New York. She gave me some more pointers. I am grateful.

Pleasant Surprise

Today a wonderful saxophone/woodwind player invited me to sit in with his trio in Central Park. We had a gig several months ago together. It was when I sang for Sweet Georgia Brown's Birthday. His name is Adrian Cunningham. He is very good at his craft. I recommend you see him whenever you get the chance. He is also an excellent composer. Ladies and men who happen to like other men. ...He is also very easy on the eyes. Now that never hurt anyone, did it. :)

It was a lot of fun. It was a specific NY moment. It was a perfect day today, because I sang for people and with musicians that I respect. It would be great if every day could be that way. I would like to sing everyday truly.

Jam

Tonight was nice. Moogy played his song, "Dust in the Wind". There was a nice crowd. It was a cold night. The type of night that even when you are dressed properly, you think," Dam it's cold!" There was frost on the streets from a previous snow. Today, a plane crashed, technically yesterday, but everyone on the plane survived.It crashed in the Hudson River. You keep walking and keep seeing life all round you pumping like electricity. I love walking up the subway stairs to sing somewhere. This is a fun part. I think I will look back and truly take that home in the emotional sense. We did one of my original's "Proud Freak" and my version of "Jealous Guy(Girl)". You can purchase them both at ITUNES. I am taking note of what the crowd responds to and they have spoken. They like Proud Freak. It cuts through.

Even Steven told me it is too bad I was not around in the 80s when everyone wanted A-LINE. Hee hee. I had to laugh. Come on. That is good. The band is so tight. They can roll with it. It is comforting to have them around me. I love it.

The best way to get over/deal with someone or something is to walk through the fire to the otherside and use all of it. Yeah Music. Ummm Hmmm.

Gotta keep on moving forward

In spite of the recent heartbreak and shock, life must go on.Maybe he will come around. Maybe he wont. I still have to sing. I will always have to sing. Sometimes people try to down your dreams because they are miserable inside and their kindle is dwindling. Stay away from them. Stay around people with as much light as you can.

My friend Baby Monroe is also a singer and he always invites me to join him at different jam sessions. Last night we went to Sapphire and then we went to Mr. Biggs. All of the musicians are the best of the best.They have worked with everyone. So, you know when you sing with them, they have your back. Sapphire's band leader is a guy called Moogie Klingman . He is the one that wrote the song, " You Got to Have Friends." Even Steven Levee was on bass and Chuck Hancock played sax with his cool silver jewelry. Baby sang with tons of emotion as he always does. The sign of a true singer. Always sing like it is your last song. There were a few other singers. All with different styles. Mr. Biggs is fun because there Steve Marshall always has loads of eye candy dancing while the band plays. What I mean is he has two women usually dancing with form fitting clothes slapping a half tambourine to the music. Then there is this guy following everyone around the club filming it. Be Careful, you never know who is watching you. :) The band is tight. The guitar player has a long ponytail kind of reminiscent of the 60s and he plays without a pick. They can play just about anything. I always have a good time at the jam sessions. It is a great way to keep "working out" or keeping your chops up to par. It is also a great way to meet people. It is cool to go with Baby too, because he keeps the riff raff at bay. Like Moogie's song says, you gotta have friends.

Ah, I forgot, one more thing. Thursday night, I lost my cell phone, Baby and I went back to Sapphire only to see that it was not there. To make a long story short. It was in the cab we took over there. I called it all night and the cab driver answered the phone the next morning. He dropped it off that morning. His name appropriately was ATIF which means Compassionate,sympathetic, or nice. Who says New Yorkers are not nice. Here is to Atif's kharma bebe. :)