You must fall down before you can walk

For years, my songwriting partner, has urged me to back myself up on guitar. Today, I found the courage to actually do it. I have played guitar for years writing my songs behind closed doors. I have played to explain to the musicians what I hear in my head. Today, I played at a small cafe in Edmonds, WA called Cafe Louvre. It was nerve wrecking. I am used to being surrounded by my musicians backing me up. This was a totally different feeling. It felt awkward. Especially the first 2 songs, but after that, it felt better. I still feel most comfortable just singing, but I respect my songwriting partner and figure there must be something to him so vehemently believing this is something I must do. So, the first time, although rocky is down. I have walked over the coals. Now to go back again. Moving to the great northwest to be closer to my mother feels interesting. There are many times that I miss aspects of New York and tonight I missed having my drummer/ songwriting partner there with me playing alongside me, but on the other hand, I am gaining loyal fans who I really appreciate. My mother and step-father came out to show their support.

Pleasant Surprise

Today a wonderful saxophone/woodwind player invited me to sit in with his trio in Central Park. We had a gig several months ago together. It was when I sang for Sweet Georgia Brown's Birthday. His name is Adrian Cunningham. He is very good at his craft. I recommend you see him whenever you get the chance. He is also an excellent composer. Ladies and men who happen to like other men. ...He is also very easy on the eyes. Now that never hurt anyone, did it. :)

It was a lot of fun. It was a specific NY moment. It was a perfect day today, because I sang for people and with musicians that I respect. It would be great if every day could be that way. I would like to sing everyday truly.

I am in still in love with music. Don't ever get that twisted.

We had a really fun jam tonight on the roof. I can't believe the neighbors did not call the cops. Steve Marshall was the ring leader.I had so many belly laughs. I love improvising with the guys. That is probably the most fun for me. We were cracking each other up. We were doing parodies of songs with serious gutter humor. It was awesome.

Never am I as happy as when I am singing. It is when I feel at one with the universe. Music is so pure. It is more honest than any lover could be. I am so at peace when I am singing. If you are singing from your heart, people can relate to it. I love it so much.More than life itself.

Sometimes what seems like a setback is an opportunity, a stepping stone for something much,much greater. When a woman gives birth, her body stretches and if she is not on anesthesia, she feel a great deal of pain as she is giving birth to her baby, but when it is born, it is so beautiful. It was created by her. It was born with her pushes, through pain and perseverance, because she and her body know that it has to be born.

Jam

Tonight was nice. Moogy played his song, "Dust in the Wind". There was a nice crowd. It was a cold night. The type of night that even when you are dressed properly, you think," Dam it's cold!" There was frost on the streets from a previous snow. Today, a plane crashed, technically yesterday, but everyone on the plane survived.It crashed in the Hudson River. You keep walking and keep seeing life all round you pumping like electricity. I love walking up the subway stairs to sing somewhere. This is a fun part. I think I will look back and truly take that home in the emotional sense. We did one of my original's "Proud Freak" and my version of "Jealous Guy(Girl)". You can purchase them both at ITUNES. I am taking note of what the crowd responds to and they have spoken. They like Proud Freak. It cuts through.

Even Steven told me it is too bad I was not around in the 80s when everyone wanted A-LINE. Hee hee. I had to laugh. Come on. That is good. The band is so tight. They can roll with it. It is comforting to have them around me. I love it.

The best way to get over/deal with someone or something is to walk through the fire to the otherside and use all of it. Yeah Music. Ummm Hmmm.

Changes

All my life experiences change my outlook and how I relate to life and people. The weird thing is his cruelty has inspired me even more. He thinks we musicians should get "real jobs". Anyone that downs you or your passions is not truly living. I call it emotional meat that gets added to my bones. I sing songs with a different timber and color. I don't know if you ever are able to forget or stop completely loving someone.

I went to support some friends in the circle I call it. It is either people I have worked with or friends of musicians that I respect. Musicians that are the full package. Good people who also happen to be great musicians.

The gig was great. It was at Barnes and Noble. I only wish I could have heard his, Tomas's, vocals more. Danny Sadownick played with his soul.His eyes closed as he got into the style of Tomas. The mic was not hot enough,because he was standing up playing his guitar and he is so tall. But you could hear that his songs are very strong and that the band is tight. There were also other performers like Allan Harris He was so smooth like Nat King Cole. He was clean in the black,southern since of the word. Very polished indeed. Every song was beautiful. When you see any of my peers, you will not have missed a minute of your life. They are the cream of the crop. If you like music. Support these guys and of course me. :)

Since when is my next show.I am paying off an incredible amount of debt and in light of the economy, saving what I can. Changes in my life need to be made. I wish I was financially capable of making all of them I want to right now,but it will work out. It has to work out. It costs money to pay my musicians. They have bills like I do.

I am writing new material from these experiences, from what I see,and from what I observer others' experiencing. It is a shedding if you will.I have been going to jam session to stay vocally active. Use it or lose it. I am meeting more great musicians and people that support art.

Let the good times roll, right Georgia.

I miss the way it was, but know it has to be different. "Life is Change," someone once told me. Sometimes change hurts, just like working out,just like a woman giving birth.

Gotta keep on moving forward

In spite of the recent heartbreak and shock, life must go on.Maybe he will come around. Maybe he wont. I still have to sing. I will always have to sing. Sometimes people try to down your dreams because they are miserable inside and their kindle is dwindling. Stay away from them. Stay around people with as much light as you can.

My friend Baby Monroe is also a singer and he always invites me to join him at different jam sessions. Last night we went to Sapphire and then we went to Mr. Biggs. All of the musicians are the best of the best.They have worked with everyone. So, you know when you sing with them, they have your back. Sapphire's band leader is a guy called Moogie Klingman . He is the one that wrote the song, " You Got to Have Friends." Even Steven Levee was on bass and Chuck Hancock played sax with his cool silver jewelry. Baby sang with tons of emotion as he always does. The sign of a true singer. Always sing like it is your last song. There were a few other singers. All with different styles. Mr. Biggs is fun because there Steve Marshall always has loads of eye candy dancing while the band plays. What I mean is he has two women usually dancing with form fitting clothes slapping a half tambourine to the music. Then there is this guy following everyone around the club filming it. Be Careful, you never know who is watching you. :) The band is tight. The guitar player has a long ponytail kind of reminiscent of the 60s and he plays without a pick. They can play just about anything. I always have a good time at the jam sessions. It is a great way to keep "working out" or keeping your chops up to par. It is also a great way to meet people. It is cool to go with Baby too, because he keeps the riff raff at bay. Like Moogie's song says, you gotta have friends.

Ah, I forgot, one more thing. Thursday night, I lost my cell phone, Baby and I went back to Sapphire only to see that it was not there. To make a long story short. It was in the cab we took over there. I called it all night and the cab driver answered the phone the next morning. He dropped it off that morning. His name appropriately was ATIF which means Compassionate,sympathetic, or nice. Who says New Yorkers are not nice. Here is to Atif's kharma bebe. :)